Just Because Someone Carries It Well, Doesn’t Mean It Isn’t Heavy

Deborah Stuart
Chair, Member Success Committee

Like for many, 2024 kicked off as a year full of opportunities and goals to achieve. That stopped for me when a local city management issue became a national story and diverted all my energy for weeks on end and continues today. The issue quickly escalated to public personal attacks and private direct threats. My job was impacting my circle of family and friends in ways I would not have thought possible weeks before, and they didn’t know how to help. A few local business owners recently shared with me that they were worried about me and thought they should reach out at the beginning. However, they knew I was tough, and figured it was probably not affecting me. I wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or upset that they had no idea just how challenging, exhausting, and isolating it all was

The career paths that we have chosen can be very heavy, and often we are focused on making that same job look light to others. I have watched enough council meetings from other communities where city managers held their professionalism and composure in the face of terrible insults and outright lies. I had no idea just how hard it was. In comparison, my own issue might be minor compared to what some of our members have faced or are currently facing. Large or small, these situations can be very isolating. That is why organizations like MME are so important. I was impressed by the city managers I met through MME who reached out, sent texts of support, met me for lunch, and even sent flowers. They were the therapy I needed; sharing stories, relating, and providing hope on how they got through something similar. In the same way, we want the Member Success Committee to provide you with resources and connections, so you aren’t carrying the weight alone.

The Member Success Committee will be kicking off 2024 with a meeting in March. Vice Chair Cameron Van Wyngarden and I are excited to continue the great work that has been done by this group previously. The MME Board first wants us to consider whether a name change to Member Services Committee would help make it clear that our focus is resources for members. Next, we will be developing a membership survey to get members’ feedback on what they really need. We have heard everything from attorney on retainer to reviewing employment contracts to a public relations firm to give guidance when your reputation is being damaged. We have also seen the value in stress management tools and a method of support by peers to make sure no one feels alone. We know there are more ideas out there, so please be open to sharing them when you see the committee’s survey in the next month or two. Those ideas will help us develop programs and recommend presenters for future conferences.

Sound interesting? Be sure to reach out to Cameron or myself to find out ways to sit in on or participate in our meetings. We want our efforts to support you.


Deborah Stuart
Chair, Member Success Committee